Doctor recommand daily dose

I just thought of some funny stuff to post,some from reading in other sources other that i thought of.

Here are the recommand daily dose that doctor all over recommanded,i got more for just a dose:

-Hello miss,i just can't notice you kept looking at me since i clear the boarding gate,so are you .....oh you are the security police...

-Kid : After i get out of kindergarten,i'm going to get me a wife.

-New height of trouble: An one handed man hanging on the cliff and his ass is itching.

-A man went to see a doctor and when he enter the room,he told the doctor he as an embarrassing problem and hope the doctor promise he wouldn't laugh at him.The doctor promised and ask him what is his problem.The man took off his pants and reveal what is the world's smallest penis,to which the doctor forget about the promise and laughed out very loudly.

After laughing for quite sometimes,he wiped the tears off his eyes and asked the man what exactly is the problem.The man reply :
"Its swollen"

-The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.

-Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

-Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.

-Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

-If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

-I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

-Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

-Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

-Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

-Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

-There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

-There are 10 kinds of people:those who know binary and those who don't.

-A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

-A day without sunshine is like night.

-As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.

-Bigamy: one wife too many.Monogamy: same thing

-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

-How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

-I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Well thats all folk!If anyone doesn't understand any of the above,please seek your doctor for advice...thats me!

*smiling in my dreams*